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What are some funny and smart quotes?

09.06.2025 12:48

What are some funny and smart quotes?

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

How should an atheist respond to a religious person who asks, "Why do you hate God?" What are some appropriate and inappropriate ways to answer this question?

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

What is better, 4 more years of Trump with the media trying to hurt him, or 8 years of DeSantis with the media licking booty, or 4 to 8 years of RFK with the media hating on him all the time? (Biden is not an option, he can't win)

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

What is a good investment portfolio for someone starting in their 20s? 90% VT and 10% BND for a Roth IRA then 100% TDF for a 401k?

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”